


flickering stars

by Lire_Casander



Category: Roswell New Mexico (TV 2019)
Genre: Angst, Character Study, Introspection, Language, M/M, POV First Person
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-02-26
Updated: 2019-02-26
Packaged: 2019-11-06 02:35:26
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,008
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17931197
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lire_Casander/pseuds/Lire_Casander
Summary: There has to be something in the air in Roswell, because tornadoes keep coming back like boomerangs.A little rambling Michael Guerin has a lot to think about.





	flickering stars

**Author's Note:**

> This is unbeta'ed, please excuse any mistakes. English is not my first language.
> 
> Characters aren't my own.

The stars have always called me. Even when I didn’t really understand the truth about me – about us – the stars were my refuge and my salvation. After everything I went through growing up, the stars were the constant, along with Max and Isobel. But they had their parents, their friends, and I had nothing but a sky full of mysteries.

I forced myself into human society while secretly planning to escape Earth.

It helped a lot that I was – _am_ – what humans call a genius. For me, it was just normal being able to calculate things as fast as I could, or to understand subjects that escaped even adults. I liked being top of the class, because for one moment in time I was the star of the show – the one the teachers praised, the one to be looked upon – not just another filthy kid from foster care. But I also liked the power that being an outcast gave me; the knowledge that no one would pester me because I was invisible. Almost always.

Until tornado Alex Manes happened in my life, sometime during senior year.

Although we had known each other for most of our lives – what with his father being the local hero and him being the best friend of the one and only Kyle Valenti – Alex Manes and I had never been friends. He was an acquaintance of Max’s, nothing else.

_Oh, how delusional of you, Michael._

It came down as a thunder, crashing against me and washing me away. He was just another normal boy from Roswell, yet his eyes held the whole beauty of the universe when the stars reflected on them. How I had missed that light, I think I’ll never know. But I am ecstatic that I came to find it right when I did.

I don’t remember how – _oh c’mon Michael you do_ – but we ended up being lab partners. And then there was the music, the guitar, the endless evenings, the gazes. Those I don’t think I’ll be able to forget for as long as I’ll live, and I don’t know how long that can be. For me Alex was a revelation. He still is, even after all these years.

But every story has two sides, a beginning and an end. Ours was so quick, so intense, that the ending came just as fast and strong as the beginning had been, and I was left stranded in the desert, hand broken and a longing feeling that never went really away. What should have I done? The very same night Alex begged me to run away with him, to escape Roswell for good, Isobel needed me. And family always comes first. That’s one lesson he taught me, when his father messed with his mind, when he chose the soldier over the alien over and over again, even though he didn’t know about my true nature. But he promised I was the love of his life.

_Naïve, naïve Michael._

So. I cleaned up after Isobel with some help from Max. I went on with my life knowing I had been defeated by my own ghosts. I tried to forget. I tried to drink the memories away. I became an addict to acetone and the kick I got from hooking up every night with a different girl. Never a guy. Never again. 

There has to be something in the air in Roswell, because tornadoes keep coming back like boomerangs. And Alex has come back. And I have fucked it all up just the same I did ten years ago. Just because I am still in the same spot, pining for someone who doesn’t really love me back, who thinks I’m a criminal – which, by the way, might as well be true – but still kisses me like I’m the last breath on Earth. I don’t know who I really am, the extent of my powers, how am I supposed to know how to act whenever he is around?

Maybe Isobel is right, maybe we shouldn’t have kept secrets for so long. Maybe we should start investigating who killed Rosa instead of accumulating data on how to leave Earth on a broken spaceship.

Yet here I am, another night wasted at the Wild Pony, with Maria dying to kick me out but for some reason never acting on it. When I look at the door, I know why. I don’t understand how she knows, but obviously she does, because the three quarters of Alex Manes that remains after Iraq are crutching their way up to me.

_If only he believed that, for me, he has always been whole._

The crystal is laid before my eyes, in the open air, but it’s not awake. It looks like any other broken crystal from the desert. I know otherwise – and Alex seems to agree with me. With a shrug, he sits down beside me and starts talking in a low voice. I don’t really pay attention, for all I want to do is sweep him away.

Somehow, I do.

It’s only when all is said and done, when we are out of the Wild Pony and into the darkness, that I realize what I’ve done. Powers are a blessing, but they can also be a damned curse, more so when you cannot control them. And I always lose control when Alex Manes is around.

_Fuck fuckity fuck._

But he isn’t running away. He doesn’t look scared. And his eyes reflecting the stars calm me in a way my spirit hasn’t been calmed in what feels like eons. It’s as if he has been waiting for me to come up clean, to leave the shadows. He kicks the ground with his crutch and looks up at me from under his long eyelashes, and I can’t help skipping a heartbeat.

There will be plenty of time for talking and explaining, for kissing and fighting, for whatever plans Alex Manes has in mind. For now, I think I will remain here, under the stars flickering in those incredibly deep eyes.

**Author's Note:**

> In Spain we can't watch the new episode till Wednesday, so bear with me while I try (and miserably fail) not to end up hysterically suffering from withdraws.


End file.
